ROB's Everyday Life
by OFTO
Summary: ROB becomes a housekeeper to the Smash Mansion and is stuck cleaning up after the brawlers after the Subspace Emissary. Will ROB be able to keep up with his duties and the antics of all the other brawlers? I'm not very funny so sorry about that.
1. A Welcoming Morning

ROB's Everyday Life

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Super Smash Bros

ROB woke up in the morning feeling as energetic as ever. The birds were chirping in the trees, the sun was shining radiantly, and the breeze was just right. Absolutely nothing can ruin his da- BANG!...except that. ROB investigated the mansion searching for the source of the bang. ROB dashed downstairs only to find it was Toon Link playing pranks with his bombs again.

"Darn it Toon Link! Next time you prank us, we will smash your head to pieces!" Yelled Nana and Popo at the same time chasing Toon Link, eventually tearing a quarter of the mansion into pieces. Once again, he had to fulfill his duties as housekeeper and repair the mansion. Sighing ROB pulled out his trusty broom and dustpan and dutifully began sweeping the floor.

How did he get himself into this mess? All he did was help the smashers in the "Subspace Emmissary," a war between the smashers and Tabuu to save their worlds and he wound up with this mess. After hours of hard work slaving away at the mansion, there came another surprise. As ROB walked up to his room, he slipped on a banana split that came from none other than Donkey and Diddy Kong. He got up to clean up the banana splits. Wincing at the residue the bananas left behind on the prefectly polished floor.

After the Subspace Emmissary, he received an invitation from Master Hand to stay in the mansion if, he became the housekeeper since he did, after all, help the enemy before he had a change in heart and decided to help the smashers defeat Tabuu. ROB vacuumed up all the banana splits and hovered towards the garbage pile and dumped the banan splits in there and went back to his room where he laid down for some well deserved rest.

Knock...knock... ROB sighed and openned the door. A nervous Pokemon Trainer appeared before him."ROB, can you get Squirtle out of the toilet please? I would usually ask Mario, but...he's on vacation and Luigi is knocked out because he...well...slipped and hit his head. Would you help me PLEASE?No, don't give me that look, I'm begging you." Pleaded Pokémon Trainer. ROB mentally face palmed himself and wished he was on vacation instead.

He followed Pokémon Trainer to the Restrooms still wondering what they were doing in the restroom that caused Squirtle to get stuck in the toilet. Well, Pokémon trainer was a strange child, and...this type of stuff wasn't strange for him it was pretty normal considering he once ordered Ivysaur to use vine whip to help him clean out his nose, and then he needed help getting Ivysaur's vines out of his nose. Eventually ROB pulled a befuddled Squirtle out of the toilet leaving himself wet, malfunctioning and frozen. "ROB?" asked a concerned Pokémon Trainer, "You okay? You don't look too well over there, oh I know! You're just cold, I'll get Charizard to use flame thrower, don't worry about it, I know how to take care a friend... _Buddy." _Pokémon trainer then proceeded to order Charizard to use flamethrower on ROB, which proved very effective...ROB was out cold, or out of order in the machine world.

_I would like to thank my sister who edited this story b/c she thinks she's soooo funny_


	2. Laundry Day

Chapter 2

ROB woke up the next day feeling sluggish (or low on battery). He didnt recognize this room, but it looked strangely like a hospital. He got up and explored a bit. What had happened? The last thing he remembered was pulling a weird blue turtle out of the toilet... In fact, where was he? He had only one memory at the moment and he was unsure of that very unlikely event. ROB strolled out of the room into a dark hallway. The room lit up and revealed a large group of people and... animals walking on two feet and many other strange creatures he had never seen, much less imagined.

"We heard about the incident and wanted to throw a surprise party for you!" An Italian plumber wearing red with blue overalls, an M on his hat, a bushy, brown mustache, and white gloves. "I hope this makes up for that incident earlier," apologized a teenage boy with a cap that had a strange insignia of a ball to on the top.

ROB looked at the stanges with uncertainty. Who were these people? "ROB?" How did they know his name? A round man with a pink big nose, a crooked mustache and biker clothes made his way to him. "Let's see, what I should do with you!" The round yellow man exchanged a few words with the other strangers and gave ROB a strange look. "On three," he said, "One...Two...THREE!" Suddenly, everyone party's party was holding ROB down as the round man openned ROB. He took out and replaced a few circuits and closed ROB. ROB processed his memories. "You're lucky I'm doing this for free," muttered Wario, who was always on the lookout for extra money. It all made sense now. ROB was happy that they hosted a party for him, but he remembered as the housekeeper it was his duty to clean up after the party. ROB groaned (or beeped) and tried not to make a mess.

After a few hours passed and the party was over, leaving ROB to clean things up. He swept the plastic cups, plates and soda cans and put them in the garbage. He threw away beer bottles left by a drunk Ike who was being carried by Marth, who was scolding Ike about getting drunk for the umpteenth time, at least this time Ike kept his clothes on, last time well...many people went blind. ROB went to his room and looked out the window. What a beautiful sunset it was, in the mountain they lived on he had a great view; he could see the sun settling on the ocean waves. ROB was relieved that he didn't do as much work as usual so he lay down on his bed and slept peacefully.

ROB woke up the next day with a full battery and remembered it was laundry day. He had to go from room to room to pick up the dirty laundry. ROB went straight to work dutifully gathering dirty clothes until he encountered... Kirby eating a diaper? ROB stared at the pink puffball as he nibbled the diaper. Kirby looked like he was having the time of his life chewing on the diaper, Kirby waved hello at ROB and directed him to his laundry pile. ROB was truly confused as to who the diapers owner was, it couldn't have been Ness or Lucas since they were too old for diapers and they were both teenagers. No, it couldn't have been Ice Climbers. And as weird as Pokémon Trainer was, he wouldn't wear diapers... Whose was it? Suddenly, a desperate Pit barged into Kirby's room. "Kirby! How did you get my diaper?! Were you in my room?!" Wait... Pit wears diapers?! ROB was surprised that Pit, an immortal angel, still used diapers? ROB slowly moved away from the scene and continued to other rooms. That explained the dirty diapers in the men's restroom.

ROB continued to the other rooms and came across Snake's room, which was heavily secured with bombs and traps. ROB took an inch into Snake's room and triggered a pressure plate which activated enemy seeking missiles, ROB barely evaded those. ROB took another step and fell into a pit full of spikes, but flew up before he reached the ground. When he finally reached the top of the pit, he was greeted by a swinging blade hanging from the rooftop, which ROB dodged quickly. Then multiple guns aimed a ROB began firing, luckily he was bulletproof so the bullets harmlessly hit ROB. Any normal man would die after just taking a step into Snake's room. Finally, ROB took another step, which triggered another trap and a bunch of projectiles came flying at him. ROB blasted the projectiles away with his laser eyes. ROB quickly retrieved Snake's laundry and made his way out careful not to step on the land mines planted in the ground, it was always a mystery how Snake was still alive considering the hefty amount of traps in his room.

Next to Snake's room was Samus's room which was also filled with traps, but this time, the room was filled with lasers that only the flexible Samus could get through. Luckily, Samus came in before ROB was forced to do any stunts and removed the lasers, seeing that ROB was doing the laundry.

The last rooms were Marth's and Ike's room. Marth's room was filled with brushes, makeup kits and perfumes. Marth was like a teenage girl, he was always worried about his appearance and constantly checked his reflection, but when Marth wasn't fussing about his hair he was a deadly and agile swordsman. Ike's room, on the other hand, was full of weights, alcohol, and more alcohol. Ike was almost always drunk and he was always getting scolded by Marth who greatly disapproved of alcoholic beverages, but even drunk Ike was a powerful warrior, he called himself the Defender of Booze and swore to protect beer with his life otherwise known as a promise to always be drunk. ROB went to collect their laundry And he noticed Marth's clothes always smelled of perfume and cologne while Ike's clothes smelled of sweat and alcohol. That was the last of the laundry. ROB went downstairs to the enormous washing machine, put the large pile of laundry in, and hovered to the top to turn the washing machine on.

After a couple minutes of washing, ROB took the wet clothes to the dryer, which dried the clothes in seconds ( they have high-tech technology in the mansion ). ROB quickly folded and organized the clothes in seconds and took them back to their rooms. After the job was done, ROB went to Master Hand's office and requested a vacation, a very long vacation.

_A/N: Hey guys thanks for reading! I'm very grateful, but for 2 weeks I won't be able to post anything else because my sister, who is also my editor/idea giver/humor source is going off to band camp :( . Shout out to KoopalingFan for being cool and being the first to review :) ._


	3. Visitors

Chapter 3

"I'm sorry ROB, but you're the only one who can do this job," sighed Master Hand. ROB sadly began to stroll out of his office, but before he could exit, he was interrupted by Master Hand. "Wait!" ROB quickly turned around and faced the floating hand. "Tell you what! I'll give you a vacation if you tidy up the WHOLE mansion. There's a news reporter coming to the mansion who wants to interview all the smashers. Make sure everything goes smoothly and you _might_ get your vacation." ROB nodded and happily agreed.

He zoomed out of the office, but in ROB then went in the middle of the dining room where all the smashers were having dinner at around the time, and made his eyes turn red in order to get the smashers' attention. "Initiating self-destruct sequence... Ten, nine, eight, seven..." All the smashers rushed out of the dining room, except for Ike who was pretty drunk. ROB spotted Marth running, yelling,"Every man for himself!"

ROB then reverted his eyes back to normal and stopped the countdown as soon as he saw that everyone had evacuated, sometimes it was good to be a robot. ROB grabbed his cleaning supplies and quickly got to work. He dusted, mopped, and cleaned the whole mansion to the point where your own reflection was visible in the hardwood floor. The rest of the smashers were still wondering why the mansion had not exploded into pieces and they were not dead. The smashers looked at each other and decided it was safe to go back since there was no screaming or destruction. As soon as they realized ROB had faked self-destruct mode, the smashers walked up to the robot with annoyed expressions on their faces. ROB was cornered by all the smashers and gulped (or beeped), but before they could do any harm, Master Hand had interrupted them.

"ATTENTION SMASHERS!" Master Hand got their attention. "There will be visitors at the mansion today that will interview all of you." The smashers were excited to hear that they would be interviewed.

The smashers were getting ready. Peach, Zelda, and Marth were putting on makeup to make sure they look their best on camera. Sonic, Falco, and Captain Falcon were practicing on greeting the interviewer. Snake and Samus were removing the traps to their rooms. Mario, Link, and Fox were having a conversation about the interviews and how nervous they were, and Wario was preparing his dance routine. After preparing, Marth dragged an unconcious Ike to his room, ROB then locked his room Bo's there would be no surprise flashing. Master Hand was then notified that Ike was drunk, which was not surprising.

After preparing, the smashers heard the door knock. ROB then opened the door to reveal a woman with blonde hair tied in a ponytail, with green-yellow eyes, and black thick glasses wearing a brown fur jacket and green jeans, followed by a camera crew.

***time skip

After the interviews, the smashers went to their rooms and prepared for the night. ROB went to Master Hand's office. "Once again, you have saved the day ROB. I guess you deserve a vacation now." ROB thanked Master Hand and strolled to his room. "Now, who's going to take care of the mansion now?" Master Hand wondered. Meanwhile, Marth and Ike were having a conversation about their day. Marth told Ike about the interview and left to his room. Ike then wondered, "Why didn't I know about this, I mean everybody loves me."


	4. Sorry

_Hey guys_! This is OFTO!

I'm not going to be able to update as much now since school is about to start, but I will post new REL chapters on the weekends.

Sorry fab out that:(

I'd like to thank KoopalingFan, 1-3pic-nerd, Mario48434, and to all of you for your support!

Bye! :D


	5. Author's note 2

I know I haven't been updating chapters, I've been busy since school started.

Anyways, I'm going to make an extra for the interview so which smashers do you want to be interviewed.

Request smasher interviews by PMing me or reviewing.

_-OFTO_


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